Wednesday, 18 April 2012

How NOT to get booked at a comedy club...

Well, it's been a while, four months to be precise, but I'm finally blogging again. So much has happened over the last few months and I will TRY and catch up but basically since I last wrote I've been shafted by a promoter in Hungary, nearly bankrupted by a disastrous trip to Austria, won and lost a small fortune in Vegas, seen the Grand Canyon and thrown out of a nightclub in Norway. I'm facing a court case for non-payment of a rail ticket, am recording a new album, planning a comedy festival and writing a new show for Edinburgh. While I get my head round all of that, here's the transcript of an email exchange I had today with a new act wanting a paid spot at my most established comedy show, The Lastminutecomedy Club. The gig features two professional (And often well known) comedians doing extended sets with me compering. You can find out more about it here The best comedy clubs in the world, in my (not so) humble opinion

Make of it what you will...


Hi Paul,

Please may I have a spot in your club? You saw my act during the competition you were running in Letchworth.

(Name removed) stand up comedian

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(Name removed),

The winner of the overall competition gets a full set at my club. Second and third places get half-sets at my club. People who are unplaced in the heats are not ready to do extended half hour sets alongside professional comedians. I have only even replied to this email so that you fully understand that I do not book new acts for Lastminutecomedy Clubs and you can take me off your list of promoters to contact. You are welcome to enter next year's competition and if you win it you will be booked.

I hope you understand.

Paul B. Edwards

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Dear Paul,

Thank you for your arrogant reply I am a promoter too running very successful gigs but I at least have courtesy. Stuff your competitions you arrogate twat

(Name removed) NCT teacher and stand up comedian

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(Name removed), you came last in your heat and it was arrogant of you to ask for a gig. Most promoters would just have ignored you. I was courteous enough to get back to you because I am a full time comedian first and part time promoter second. There is nothing I hate more than being palmed off by promoters who end up wasting my time because they don't tell me why they are not going to book me. I prefer straight talking. I don't think there is any need for your abuse. I'm sorry you found my reply arrogant. Would you have preferred me to say that you are joint-40th in line for one round of support slots next March and if the other 39 drop out I'll get in touch? Good luck with your own ventures and stop being silly. You were nice when we met - that's how I prefer to remember you x

______________________

Paul,

I would have preferred you ignored my email it was polite enough, rather than be rude and you are entitled to your opinion. I am totally shocked that you are a professional comedian because we all thought how unfunny you were. Good luck in future   

___________________

Hi (Name removed),

You saw me at a show I hosted recently and I wondered if I could have a gig at your successful comedy shows?

Paul B. Edwards



31 comments:

  1. Blimey this is tame to the British Comedy Guide forum. These people on here sound like the folk on there, constantly attacking you and not lightening up about stuff. Some people just want a row and can't take rejection when rejection is what its all about. I had a right nucking fightmare on the BCG I had to remove myself from it as all i asked was for opinions on sketch footage that was aired on stand up comedy hero on ITV4 a few years back and it all got out of hand. Anyway, Dear Paul, please can I have a spot at your comedy club with nobs on. Thanks. Clare. xxx

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  2. this sounds like ben jenkins

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  3. Chris Purchase1 May 2012 at 13:44

    Is there such a thing as email rage?

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    1. There is now! Haha, hello Chris! Judging by the number of UK views of this in the last 24 hours I'd say one or two comedians might be reposting it...

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  4. Yikes! Really? I had no idea comedy bookings could get so nasty. That's intense!

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    1. Haha yes rather emotionally charged...

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  5. Yup, Paul B. Edwards is an arrogant twat, who probably hurts and upsets a lot of people. Mybe in the future we'll find some kind of psycological solution, but for today we all have to put up with twatface.

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  6. Sheeeeeesh. That went south fast.

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  7. Wow, I never thought it could be that bad...

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    1. It's normally worse, judging by some of the emails I got from other promoters!

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  8. Wow, people are strange. It is hard to believe that comedy is cut throat.

    Anonymous posters berating you?

    Sorry dude...

    WG
    http://itsmynd.com

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  9. Lol, no need to apologise for me the original reply from Paul B. Edwards diminishes the other person throughout. "I have only even replied to this email so that you fully understand..." why use a phrase like that - unnecessary.

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    1. Thank you for the additional (As yet) unpublished comment but if you're going to remain anonymous I'm not inclined to give you any more time than this reply. I hope you understand.

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  10. Wow, ignorant little me never knew that blog comments could get so dramatic! Maybe I was imagining that stand-up comedians have a sense of humor? Email is terrible for this type of communication. It probably all would have gone way better if the guy had called you or spoken to you in person. Hang in there!

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    1. To be honest they'd have got a similar response on the phone. The terms and conditions of the competition were very clear. it's an opportunity for one new act to get full sets at established comedy clubs alongside seasoned professionals, not an opportunity for people to be really quite rubbish and then blindly chance their arm anyway.

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  11. Seemed like a reaonable email response to me. But I'm no comedian...

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    1. Haha - and you're all the better for it, believe me.

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  12. Woah Nelly, that sure did go South fast, didn't it?

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    1. It wouldn't have been funny if it hadn't - likewise the couple of caustic comments. The internet's an open forum and I suppose if you blog something like this you're open for criticism. I could have edited my own remarks to come over a little more angelic but decided to just lob it out there. I acknowledge I could have been more diplomatic but, well, you know...

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  13. Comics can be plain scary! LOL

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    1. Oh I don't know - we just tend to be a little abrupt with each other. Most of the time we're kittens.

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  14. Wowee! What a jerk! But you totally followed thru with your comedian gig by sending that last email. ;)

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    1. Might have been a little childish but I couldn't resist...

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  15. I suppose the stress of putting yourself out there on stage can get to any performer, but I always find these sorts of emails amusing. It's the problem with the medium that those who rely on facial emphasis or gesticulation to be clear (that would be humans) misinterpret written correspondence.

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    1. Fair point, actually, although if you're going to get anywhere in comedy you're going to have to be thick-skinned enough to take far greater rejection than anything I have to offer and abusing someone for having to tell you the truth a second time does not bode well for the future...

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  16. And people wonder where you get your material. People are crazy. Ellen

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