A short, sharp shock.

I was having breakfast by 9.10am. This time round it was scrambled eggs and bacon on brown toast, weetabix with milk, orange juice, coffee and fruit to be removed. Fortunately I had remembered my banana-nicking jacket which it turns out also had an apple pocket. An apple pocket? I am an ithief. It has really been the only successful bit of the day. I was on Cowgate by midday flyering my little plants off. And Chris the emo flyer person was also showing greater resolve then normal.

We got eleven people in.

Eleven.

Three of those were Tiddles, his son and his son's mate.

It was a really good laugh show, Jools Constant had a good gig and funny things happened throughout. I reckon that would be worth more than an average of 45p per person, don't you? I reckon if you sit and watch someone else perform for the best part of an hour, you would expect to pay more than 1p per minute. Not my audience. Not an audience that know a quarter of the profits are going to Amnesty. Not an audience that know damn well that obviously they are more under pressure to contribute than in a full audience, obviously because they know the compere can see them.

Tiddles' fiver brought it up to £9.80 or something. Otherwise I may have cried. It's the last show tomorrow. Hopefully it will be nice and busy. I went up to get my "Sub of The Day" from Subway.

It was fucking Tuna.