Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Cancellations, sell outs and feet with fingers on them

Well I got my voice back, anyway. I got it back by staying in on Saturday AND Sunday night. Quite remarkable, really but ultimately very sensible. Saturday particularly was a good idea as it's obviously the night that EVERYONE in Edinburgh goes out and as I returned home around 10pm I found myself glad to be out of the madness. I even went out for Sunday lunch with flatmate Susan and after a drive around Edinburgh's Southern extremities we settled on a country Chef & Brewer for a carvery. If you're thinking I've got someone else in to write today's blog, don't worry - it all went wrong on Monday.

I got a text from my agent on Sunday night confirming me for her lunchtime showcase show in The Pleasance. I absolutely love that show but it was the first time I'd MC-ed it and it's not actually an easy gig to compere. This pill is sugared however by the fact that the MC gets FIFTY QUID CASH! What a start to the week! I was FIFTY QUID UP and it wasn't even three o'clock! After exit-flyering the gig, I legged it around to Whistle Binkies on Niddry Street to open for Simon Lilley's "Asparagus Wee And Other Stories" which was fun. Then I doggedly refused to flyer at all and was thus surprised when around twenty people showed up for "Tweeting Beauty". It wasn't a great show and my bucket was rather paltry which negated a bit of the earlier success but it wasn't enough to put me off. I had a chat with Frank Sanazi outside his show just up from me at The Hive.

We settled on a quick pint, obviously. Niddry Street is brilliant. There's Bannermans down the bottom, then The Banshee Labyrinth (Where I am), then The Hive, then The Globe and the aforementioned WB at the top. All of them have shows on during the fringe and the street could have a festival of its own. I carried on over North Bridge and went to "Snax" for a very disappointing chicken burger. "Snax" is on W. Register Street where my 7.30pm show is and the other day I had the best double cheese & bacon burger I have ever eaten. They're clearly putting all their efforts into that though because the chicken one as crap. Anyway, feeling far better about my voice, I hit the Guinness in Buffs Club as I awaited both acts AND an audience for half seven. Fortunately they all appeared and the gig was great fun. I returned to the booze and got stuck in to some red wine, which then promptly ran out, so switched to rose. Ten o'clock arrived and I (barely) got in to Robin Ince's show as it was so rammed. I did, however and it was worth it. I even held his bucket for him. Now that's a bucket. He got about seventy people in and must have taken at least £200. I told him he could buy me a drink. He did - with a chaser. Feeling rather relaxed, I headed over t Hanover Street and a pub called The Jekyll & Hyde to catch Laura Levites' show. I was the only person there. Her support act went on anyway, bizarrely - and proceeded to berate me. I pointed out that I was 100% of the crowd and she really ought to be nicer. Then a couple walked in from the bar who had overheard our "discussion". The support act finished and on came Laura in all her titian angst-ridden glory. What followed was forty five minutes of a girl sat down with her head in her hands growling into a microphone. It was brilliant. Laura is from New York but lives in LA. She clearly is not over-keen on Edinburgh. I suggested afterwards that we went and got drunk. I of course already was, but hadn't realised, because I was drunk. We got a cab over to The Gilded Balloon and went up into the Loft bar. I'm afraid the rest is a bit of a blur. I believe I managed to not upset Noel Faulkner and his Comedy Cafe crew who were all there, but I can't be sure. I don't think I upset Laura in any way as she has today accepted my friend request on facebook. When I got home I appear to have only drunk-dialled one person. I woke up at about half past one to several texts, none of which related to the previous night's events. One was from my mate Alex who had to drop out of my "Lastminutecomedy Club" show tonight. It's not too hard replacing comedians in Edinburgh (There are quite a few around). It was absolutely throwing it down for most of the day and after successfully negotiating the bus (I'm now saving a tenner a day by catching them - should really have done that last week...) I again resolutely refused to flyer my show and was AGAIN surprised to have a busy room, reflected by a decent bucket. As I relaxed in the Banshee I got a text from flatmate Susan asking me to come to her show as she had important people in and wanted as many bodies as possible. I thus had to leg it in the pouring rain over to Stand 4 where it was on at 5.55pm. I just made it and even had time to dry my hair under the hand dryer in the gents. The show is lovely - really lovely. I'd recommend it to anyone actually. My praise doesn't come easily (As I'm sure you've noticed) but there are some really funny bits in it. Here's the flyer

I then walked back through the rain with my Darth Vader bag on my head in an attempt to keep a bit dry. It didn't really work. I dried off at the gig and (despite again refusing to flyer) had a nice fullish room for the show, which featured an Australian woman on the front row who my first act, Al Cowie, persuaded to take her shoes and socks off and show us the exceptionally long toes she claimed to have. She wasn't wrong. They're really long. REALLY long. He remarked that it looked like she had fingers on her feet.

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